As I was thinking about what to write for today, thousands of thoughts seemed to swarm in my head, and I have determined that it feels like there just isn’t enough time in the world to express it all. But, as any good perfectionist, alcoholic would say, I will do it anyways. So here we go on to our next blog post.

I had a conversation with someone today about living in the moment and today, this phrase seemed to catch me off guard. I remember when I was newly sober, thinking life was so horrible, and just waiting for it to be tomorrow, next month, next year, 5 years from now. I guess I thought that I wasn’t really living yet. The FIREWORKS hadn’t started yet. I had rules and regulations, I didn’t get to do what I wanted to do, and I was just doing the same things, day in and day out. I couldn’t wait for it to be in the future, to be through with everything that I had to get through, to get a boyfriend, to get my own place, to get a good job, to get my license back, so on and so forth. The life that I was living at the time, just didn’t seem to be good enough.

Well, today, I can honestly say that I am currently residing in that woman’s future, and STILL its not good enough. I own a home, my very first home, and I look around thinking, I want bigger bathrooms and closets, new floors, fresh paint, a new kitchen, a garage, a pool, new furniture, the list could go on and on. I think about the health issues that I am having and want to be in the future, where I have no health issues, we are more financially stable, and can truly think about having a child. I think about the job that I have and how I wish I could already be in the future, where I can make just a little more money so I that I can actually survive.

I guess the point that I am trying to make is, that for humans, and especially for alcoholics, such as myself, that nothing ever seems to be good enough. We want to hurry to the future where things can be “bigger and better”, so we think. But here’s the thing. When did we stop living in the present? Isn’t that what life is about, living in the moment and taking every moment in to the absolute fullest? I look back on my early sober years and I think about how much I must have missed, by being so focused on the future, thinking things should be grander than it was in the present moment. Maybe I missed some important conversations or some signs from God. Maybe I missed a good laugh, a hug, or a smile. Maybe I missed being able to just BE.

Just for today, I will choose to live in today. I will choose to be grateful. Because here’s the truth of it, I have SO much to be grateful for. I have amazing friends, a loving and wonderful husband, the sweetest fur babies, a supportive and loving family, a job, a roof over my head, enough money to pay the bills, and a couple of cars that my husband gets to drive me around in. Instead of rushing through life just to get to the other side, I will take the time to hug my husband and give him a kiss after a long days work, I will take the time to cuddle with my dogs, I will take the time to text a friend, I will take the time to talk to God, and I will take the time to tell someone I love them. I want to be present for this journey called life and I don’t want to miss a thing. And guess what? This beautiful life that I have been given, that WE have been given, is none other than a gift from God. That, I believe, IS GOOD ENOUGH.