So, speaking of the truth, where is it these days? How do we find it? I can tell you exactly where you can’t find it is anywhere on social media. If that is what you are looking for, maybe try a face to face conversation and you might have more luck.
Something that I always say when I am getting ready to speak in a meeting is that I am going to share from the heart, to speak my truth and show my realness and that is what I choose to do in my life as a whole. Granted, I’m not going to be complaining to everyone about my life issues or annoyances, just like I wouldn’t shout in the middle of Wal-Mart, my gratitudes and everything I am thankful for, but I do believe when you are sitting down with your family, close friends, and especially sponsees and others you are wanting to be able to help, you KEEP IT REAL.
How did our society turn into this? Where everything is online and what we show online is nothing short of perfection. Do we feel like we have to post something every day? And how do we feel when enough people aren’t commenting and liking our photos and posts? Did we tell ourselves that we are posting to let friends know where we are at in life, but instead feel like we have something to prove? Do we want to show off all the cool things that are happening in our lives to make others feel envious? Do we feel like we have to be better than the next person, that the grass is greener on OUR side?
These thoughts have been rolling around in my head for awhile now, because honestly, I used to be one of these people in a way. I felt like I was important when I got to show off my “oh so wonderful life”. I felt a rush when I would look to see how many people liked the post, then check it an hour later to see how many MORE people liked the post. Because of my thought processes lately, I have chosen not to post like I used to on social media, not to keep checking it every 5 minutes to see what people are saying about it. Because here is the TRUTH of it, NOONE’S life is that perfect. It’s just not possible. Life happens, so let’s start being real about it.
One of the reasons I have been thinking about this lately, is because my husband and I just recently watched the Netflix documentary about the Watts family, saddest thing in the world. My point with this is seeing if you paid attention to the differences in the social media posts verses the texts in this show. The fake verses the realness. You will NEVER know what is truly going on in person’s life if you are just watching their social media accounts.
My question is, how can you respect, look up to, and idolize, anyone who behaves in that manner? Something that I have been taught from the very beginning of my recovery is that we find the “winners” and those are the ones we stick with. Today, I think I have a much better understanding of that. The “winners” doesn’t mean their life is perfect, or they make you believe their life is perfect, it’s the ones who stay real and aren’t afraid to tell you what is really going on in their lives. Isn’t that where the venerability comes from? Putting it all out there: the good, the bad, and the ugly. The way I look at it, is that’s what I want to share with those who are just getting started on this sober life journey and really anyone else. If I was to tell them that it’s all up from here, they would be sorely mistaken, and if they happened to glance at other sober people’s social media, then most likely they will think they are doing something wrong, especially when they have a bad day, because trust me those days will come.
I’m not saying that everything on social media is a lie, and that life isn’t wonderful and we don’t have amazing, magical things happen to us, but is flaunting it on Facebook what it’s all about? Or is there more to life than that? What if we talked about God on social media? What if we talked about our struggles? What if we talked about our blessings and offered for everyone to join in to include their blessings? What if we talked about what we stand for and what are passions are? Not in a condemning and argumentative way, just saying, hey this is how I feel and if someone feels differently then that’s cool too. What if we helped people on social media instead of hurting them, even if we THINK we aren’t hurting anyone? Maybe instead of posting all over social media, we should spend time with our family, take pictures, and put them in a scrapbook for us as a family to look at. Maybe we should start a book study and invite friends over to discuss it. Maybe we should reach out to others and ask how their day is? Maybe we should stop and smell the roses. Maybe we should get a dose of humility.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t do any of this perfectly, but the more I grow in my recovery, the more awareness I receive, not only about myself, but the people I choose to surround myself with, and the actions I decide to partake in. I don’t want to be that person anymore. I don’t want people to look at my social media account and think, “wow, she must have a perfect life”. I want them to see the real me and my real life experiences and think if she can do it, then maybe I can do it too.
