Hello everyone and happy Friday! Thank goodness its Friday, right? I remember, back in the day I couldn’t wait for Friday, because it gave me even more of an excuse to drink the way I wanted to. Tonight, a few years later, I have a different kind of Friday.
Usually I am so exhausted from go, go, going during the week, that I completely crash on Fridays, and am pretty much good for nothing. It kind of turns into my regroup evening, and hey, I think I deserve a day like that ever once in a while. Today after work, my husband and I came home to be greeted by our very large, in charge, and couldn’t be happier to see us, two dogs. They are a mess, but it is definitely a good feeling to come home to. We said our hellos with kisses, hugs and play time. Then my husband started to grill. Thank goodness, because I am definitely not what one would call a grill master. My husband, on the other hand, definitely is and actually enjoys it, so, hats off to him. Keep doing your thing, babe because you rock at it! We made the rest of dinner and I went around the house straightening and rearranging probably about half of the house, because for some reason I feel like I always need to be doing 25 things at once. We had a cozy dinner with place settings, conversations, and laughs.
As my husband went to a meeting tonight (yes he is one of us too!), I stayed home to clean the kitchen and do a little writing. The kind of writing I am talking about tonight is in the form of a letter. A very special letter to a very special person. This person is where I was, not too long ago, on the “inside” and cleaning up the wreckage of her past. I couldn’t be more proud. I knew this particular woman from a few years ago. She was living at the same treatment center that I had attended and was doing the deal. She is such a beautiful soul and we became fairly close. Then, as so many of us do, she lost her way, but by God’s grace was able to find the path again even in a place such as where she is now.
I remember when I was incarcerated, sometimes the only form of hope, love, and support, came in the form of letters. I remember the first day that I received a letter, I’m sure that I couldn’t stop crying. I had such an amazing support system, and I can honestly say, I received at least one letter every single day I was on “the inside”. I don’t think I can properly explain just how profound and wonderful that was. God winks all over the place. Thank God for the friends and family who took the time out of their busy days, just to write me a letter. No matter how long or how short, they all meant the absolute world to me. They were those little rays of hope and light, that kept shining for me in the darkness that was in my surroundings. I couldn’t thank God enough for those people and those letters.
So now, it gets to be my turn and I couldn’t be more grateful. I got to write one of those letters, but this time on the other side. I had the opportunity to be able to give just a little hope, strength, love and light, to someone who I can relate to and someone who I know what its like to be where she is right now. One of the promises that is given to us when we find this new way of life, is that we will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it. There was a time when I wished none of my past existed, but what I know now, is I went through everything that I went to because that was how it was supposed to be. I believe it is now my purpose to help others in need by giving back and telling my story, my whole story, hoping that someone out there can relate. My purpose is to give my experience, strength and hope as it was so freely given to me. My past was not the easiest, in active alcoholism, early sobriety, or even a few years down the road, but that’s what makes me who I am. I use all of it to share with someone else. I thank God everyday for giving me a purpose, a purpose to shine just a little bit of light in the sickness, misery, and darkness. Just a little bit of light to show that recovery IS possible, and no matter what we go through, there will always be a way to get to the other side.
