Wow, that used to be a super tough question, and honestly it can still sometimes be, because the truth of the matter is that I’m super selfish. Our book tells me this is the root of my problems, selfishness, self-centered. So, what do I do to combat that? Specifically we are told that we are supposed to help people and I guess the reason why this has been brought more to my attention lately is from sponsoring the number of women I am. 4 is definitely a good amount for me and honestly it takes a lot of time and effort to talk to them on the phone, answer their texts, and meet with them on a regular basis. I do enjoy this kind of work for the most part, but I would be lying if I said I loved it all the time. Honestly, sometimes I don’t want to answer the phone, I don’t want to be bothered, and I don’t want to take time away from something that I would rather be doing, which sometimes is nothing at all.
So, why do I do it? Selfishly I do this kind of work because it keeps me SOBER and I have determined that service work has to be a part of my daily life. Of course this isn’t the only thing the book tells me to do to stay sober. I am supposed to grow in my connection with God, work on myself, apologize when wrong, and attempt to be a productive member of society. However without service work (of any kind), I know I would surely drink. Plus, this is everything our book describes that we are supposed to do and continue to do, once we get sober. We GIVE IT AWAY.
My question to you, is what have you given away today? And let’s make this clear, I’m not talking about helping your kids, your spouse, your pets, your parents, siblings, etc, because honestly at this point, I’m pretty sure that should be a given. Of course not to say that that doesn’t mean something too. Most certainly it does, but the way I look at it, that kind of work is still a little bit selfish, don’t you think? When I am helping my husband and my dogs, I am trying to help myself too. I make food, I clean, I take care of the household because it gives me a sense of purpose AND a happy home is with everyone happy in it, right? So, the point I am trying to make is that in a sense, I do this work selfishly.
What I am really talking about is asking the question, what have you done for someone else today, someone new in recovery, a stranger at the grocery store, a colleague, a co-worker, a friend? Have you reached out to someone and asked them how their day was? Have you helped a co-worker with work they missed while out? Have you held the door open or let someone cut you in line at the grocery store? Have you picked an item up off the parking lot ground for someone who dropped it? Have you thanked a colleague for helping you with something? Have you answered the phone when a sponsee has called, or an even better question (if you are in recovery) is, are you even sponsoring anyone? Have you taken a meeting into the jail, Detox facility, out-patient classes, or DMV classes? Who have you helped today?
I’m not saying you have to do all these things, but what about one of them just for today? What motives do you have behind doing these things? What do you get out of it? Is any part of it selfish? For me, I can honestly say that the most selfish part of doing these things is so I get to stay sober. I know that I have to keep doing everything this program has taught me from the beginning to better myself, to be helpful and to stay sober. I can’t forget that. This is MY purpose today.
